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daylightfadings To keep the pieces together in Abruzzi. - Everything she puts in the ground withers and dies. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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daylightfadings To keep the pieces together in Abruzzi. [Nov. 2nd, 2005|01:43 am]
[mood |anxiousanxious]

Spike was baking cookies in that brain of his. I could read it on his face every moment I accompanied him along the concrete tendrils woven through the modest town. I wanted to reach inside his ear and poke about until there was nothing but his thoughts that I could see. Not too long ago that's all I dared to see. He could hide nothing from me, my little soulless window. But now, between his soul and my own, the window was fogged. I saw little shadows running about and that was all. The more I thought of it, my whispered pictures had all been foggy lately.. not only those from Spike. My visions weren't nearly as tidy as they should be. Naughty little things. They must be rinsed.

I spoke nothing of how he may be feeling, however, not daring to make him cross toward me. Things were different now between us. I cared how he felt. My desires spoke of control lesser than subservience anymore. The world was shining in new light and I was the child being taught all over again. What better teacher have I than my dearest? The thought brought a softly kissed smile to my lips -- perhaps the first smile that had not been borne of sadistic entertainment in many ticks of the clocks -- as he thrust his knee into the gizzard of one of his talkless toys. They were being so very stubborn and my dolls weren't speaking to me.

"Not that one, lovely," I said, trying my best to be of any assistance. I walked up to the demon that Spike held and trailed my finger along its brow, just like the old days but now the game pieces weren't the prey. We were the predators to the killers. "This one's not smart enough to know. How disappointing."

Daddy had sent us on this hike. I wasn't liking it one bit. It was cold and I wished to sit by the fire and comb Miss Tabitha's locks but it wasn't meant to be right now. Spike didn't want to read the books and I wasn't to sit in this world without his guiding arms near me. I simply wanted this night to end and I cared not whether we actually found something or not. It wasn't my quest. It was never my quest. I don't want to be the hero.

I just want to be.